Wednesday, June 29, 2011

You will not regret

Click here to go to my pal Simon's blog and see some pics of cute lil animals.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Some photographs from some film - Dunedin

Since town got destroyed there was/is nowhere for bands to play. Some people in Dunedin organised Quakefest'11, a relief show for Chch bands. It wasn't a benefit show designed to make a lot of money, it was more to give bands from chch the opportunity to play somewhere.

I drove me, Ben and Ché to Dunedin. Also we had this other lady in the car with us too. Her name was Lorraine maybe. She was going to perform too. She smoked a lot. But not in my car. I don't like smoking in my car. It's Mum's car. I checked the oil and filled it up with petrol. I should have pumped the tyres up before we left but I got really anxious when I went to do so the night before because there were all these boy racers and I didn't really know how to pump tyres up anyway. I think I just bought some liquorice and drove home.

It was a beautiful day.

We stopped at Rakaia. Everyone stops at Rakaia. We watched everyone stop at Rakaia and take photos of the big trout while we stopped at Rakaia and took photos of the big trout in Rakaia. Everyone smoked cigarettes except for me. Some people went to the bathroom. I sent a text message.

Got snacks. Kept driving. There was this real close call with a truck when I was overtaking someone. We got to Dunedin in like four and a half hours. 
There were two venues for bands. Our band played at Sammy's with the Dialtones, Undercurrents, Valdera and T54. Others bands played at Refuel.

When we played two girls and maybe a guy got up on stage and danced. They were really drunk. Lorraine smoked so many cigarettes that she turned into a cloud of ash and settled over the southern hemisphere coughing on everyone and delaying flights.

 We went to the Butterfly House.

 This butterfly had a big crush on me. I said sorry butterfly it will never work. The butterfly flew away and drowned itself in the turtle pond.

We drew some pictures of butterflies with some pencils the museum had set up.

We went to a party and saw the guy that worked with the butterflies.

We played 20 questions on the drive home. I thought Carmen Sandiago but no one got it.

Sunday, June 26, 2011



I am running out of clean underwear
You don’t wanna keep doing this


You are not even going to give me a cup of tea


There should be an airline for people who feel indifferent toward


Your website is much easier to navigate now


That guy at the call centre
Give him a pay rise
Give them all pay rises
Give them something 
To make them smile


Put on a jacket
In your social circle it’s going to get a bit


I get to go to the zoo now for $1
Nature is confusing

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Mount Pleasant - Slipped Era//The Aztecs

Hamish made a new video for Mount Pleasant. He filmed me for some scenes. I like the animation a lot. Check out the album The Aztecs here. Real good. 

Friday, June 24, 2011

Some photographs from some film - pre eq, eq, post eq

After I got back from the cruise Joe flew down to Christchurch. I can't remember how long he came down for. Maybe a week. It was really nice. We made lots of sandwiches and cut cheese on a special cheese-slice I hadn't seen or used before. I'm going to get one and cut cheese with it when I get wealthy enough to afford cheese.
We spent a lot of time at the beach. Our favourite swimming spot was at Corsair Bay. It is really close to his parents house. We went at midnight once on a really warm night the sky was clear and I hurt my feet on the rocks. I thought I had really strong feet. It's such a shame that so many boy racers go to Corsair Bay. It would pretty much be perfect if it wasn't for them. 

We had to make some music because Joe's friend Sam asked him to play with the Canterbury Rams at the Dux. Many people were away at camp that weekend. I didn't go because camp makes me nervous. Joe and I had plans to make our own camp which kind of fell through because we ran out of money I think. We made the songs up on the day and it showed. They were all Pokémon-themed though. I played guitar on one or two of them and I had never tried to play a guitar before. It was a lot of fun though. I remember thinking and feeling slightly giddy at all the fun I had. I feel like I lived out a dream. Ben said our set was awesome. Ben was probably drunk. 

Joe went home and a couple of weeks later the second big earthquake 'hit'.
I was sitting at my desk searching for flats, ironically. The bookcase fell over just after I ran to the door. I put my mac in its case and in the middle of my bed. I wrote a story about the earthquake in an earlier post, just read that to get the gist of the eq thing. 

This is why I don't organise my books. I only do fiction on the top three rows and non fiction and childrens books on the bottom two. It's sort of too full now though to do it properly. My dream home has bookshelves for walls. 

A couple of days later I went to Auckland to get away from the city because it was too sad and stressful. I had a piercing and it got really infected so I took it out. I was very reluctant to take it out because it was really special. I tried a lot of things to make it better like bathing it in salt water and washing it with protex soap but in the end my body totally rejected it. I guess it was because I hadn't showered in a few days since the water was bad/non existent.

Auckland was cool though because I got to hang out with my sister and my niece. I love my niece so much. I don't know how to explain it. Like there is this long gold-sparkly pipe-cleaner connecting us. Since its gold and sparkly I want to be around it a lot and touch it and look at it. I feel like I want to be a bigger part of her life or something. I wanna be cool Aunty Alice. My other niece/nephew don't call me Aunty Alice. But they are pretty much as old as me so we're just bros.

We went to this all-day dance show and my niece got up on stage at the end and danced with the dancers in front of everybody. She really likes dancing. Everyone loved her. She was really frustrating though when we tried to go home because she didn't want to leave the stage. She cried. A lot. Her screams made my throat sore. 

More bad stuff happened like the Japan eq and more people were dying in chch. I think I stayed in Auckland for two weeks. Everyone went a bit crazy. I mean, I definitely did. I think I stayed too long in Auckland though. No one really understood what was happening for me/other people from Chch. I just wanted life to be back to what it was.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Some photographs from some film - Sydney

Here are some photographs from the beginning of the year up to more recently. There are a few different events so I guess I'll post them separately or something. Everything seemed to be going really well before the february earthquake. But I dunno. It's not like everything has been real shit after it either.

I went to Sydney with my Mum and Dad and Nana. We went on a cruise ship over there and got a plane back. I wouldn't recommend a cruise. It's boring. Maybe if you like spending lots of money on cocktails you might like it. Mmm. I didn't get sea sick. I guess that's a plus. I can't remember if I've written about this already. I lost a roll of film from the boat. Maybe two actually.

After the cruise we stayed in Sydney for a couple of nights. I went exploring by myself because I was a bit sick of my parents and I thought that there would be discrepancies between what we all wanted to do. Plus I didn't want to stress out my Nana - it was very hot and there was lots of walking. The first thing I did was get a new battery for my camera and find an internet café because I wanted to email some people and gchat to them. That was all I really wanted to do.

 There were lots of little stands like this all along the central promenade. They sold fruit and veges and snacks and newspapers. Sydney was so big I felt like a single stitch on a parachute.

 I walked to the Art Gallery of NSW. It was really cool inside. I walked around it for a couple of hours. I wrote a lot of things in a notebook here. I don't know what or for what purpose. There are like 4+ floors and I think the lower you go the more recent the artwork is. I got a bit confused because every time I kept going down escalators there were windows and I could see outside.

Because we couldn't get enough boat-rides in our lives we caught one to somewhere I can't even remember the name. This is mum dad nana and my backpack all looking at the same thing at the same time.

When we got to the place-I-can't-remember-the-name there was a seagull standing on the top of a pole. It's hard to see because the seagull is the same colour as the sky. I don't know why I thought this was photo-worthy. Please bear in mind that it was about 40 degrees. 

Mum dad and nana walk beside some water. When you stay in a different place everything seems more beautiful. Even if it isn't really. I remember thinking "this water and grass is so beautiful" but I must have been delirious because it looks like any man made river/pond thing. 

A woman with a parasol and a woman with a dog talk on the side of the road. There is a bike chained to a pole. I think the dog was really cute. I must have really liked everything when I took this photo. I probably was thinking "everything is so great oh look people and their relationships with each other I am in Sydney and I am getting such perspective on the world everything is going to be good forever and ever". Like I has just started dating Sydney and Sydney was The One.

Nana stayed at home and mum dad and I went out to a japanese restaurant. There was a cockroach in it though. It crawled behind our seat-futon thing. I was more excited than scared because I hadn't seen one before. It looked a bit cute but I was probably still a bit crazy from the heat. We had to get a train there anyway and this is me in the station.

This may or not be Circular Quay. This is what it looks like when I don't wear my glasses no matter what city I am in.

They tie their bikes to lamp posts just like in Christchurch. Oh my. Again, no glasses.

On the last day in Sydney before we had to leave in the afternoon I walked to the Powerhouse Museum. It was 44 degrees I think and I wanted indoors because it would be cooler and I wouldn't be sweaty anymore. I was getting really sick of sweating. Even eating ice creams was no fun because they melted too quickly and got on my hands all sticky.  In the Powerhouse Museum was a massive exhibit on 'life in the 80s in Australia'. It was sweet. There were heaps of displays on bands and electronics and and television and things. This picture is the handwritten draft of one of Nick Cave's songs. I think From Her To Eternity. There're heaps of cross-outs. I took the photo for my friend Ben because he loves Nick Cave a lot. Pity it didn't come out well at all.

OMG GAMEBOYS. Hehehe. The original gameboy is exactly the same as mine except mine is see-through. So just like the title pic thing of this blog. 

After the Powerhouse Museum I think I had another ice cream but instantly regretted it. I didn't even need to grip the handles of my bag because my hands just stuck to it and everything else. I guess it made lifting things easier. The taxi man thought I was 15. I was glad to get home.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Do you want to come for tea can make cannelloni?

Beautiful, transcendent, hard out
sleeping was easy because it vowed eternal--
You have a loose eyelash.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Awkward and Definition by Ariel Schrag

This is seriously good. It's the first in a trilogy of 'comic chronicles' about the author, Ariel Schrag's time in high school. Well two years of her time in high school. I think when she was 15 and 16. It's like two books in one. I read that she doesn't like the term 'graphic novel'.  I really really liked this a lot. A lot. It is really funny. One time I was reading it in the staff room at work and I started laughing out loud and people stopped talking and asked what was so funny. I can't remember exactly what I was laughing at though. They just ignored me after that. I kept laughing internally though because that was pretty awkward/funny and seemed like something that would happen in the book.

I like her drawings a lot. In Awkward the art is more cartoon-y and sort of messy but not in a bad way. In Definition it's like she gets more confident with the art or something. I dunno. There's more detail and the lines are stronger. Also the content gets heavier or rather she is defining her identity contextually/irl. She wrote these at the time the events were unfolding, not in retrospect. This means there's no specific plot line it's just her year as it happens: having crushes on boys/girls, getting drunk/stoned, studying for exams, making new friends, going to shows and identifying as bisexual. I like that the art changes as she does. I felt like I could really relate to her as well because she gets really obsessed with stuff like actors and bands - she has a shrine to Juliette Lewis in her room and also starts trying to look like Gwen Stefani. I remember when I had a Leonardo DiCaprio shrine in my room just last year. I took it down and I think I threw away all my pictures because I was 'over it'. So not over it. I really regret that. Really really really. Maybe I will make a new shrine to something else in my room. Maybe I will make a shrine to Ariel Schrag!

I just ordered the next book in the trilogy, Potential, with the very last of my money. There is also a documentary called, Confession: A film about Ariel Schrag. I'm going to track it down and watch it until my eyes bleed smiles and chocolate kisses.

Monday, June 13, 2011

I know everyone hates it but being made the Banker in Monopoly is sometimes a good thing and should be treated as a compliment but also it is frustrating especially when people start buying hotels and stacking them up and Monopoly goes for way too long anyway it's only fun at the start and always ends in massive arguments, dissatisfaction and general unhappiness

My boyfriend cheated on me. Seems like this sort of thing happens to me a lot. My first boyfriend went camping with his family one summer over new years and made out with and ‘fingered’ some girl on a swing set. I only found out afterwards because he and his brother prank txted me on their way home. I told him I loved him. He told me “three fingers”. I felt sick. But mainly I think though because I didn’t actually love him and I felt dishonest. After that I vowed never to tell someone I loved them unless I was super adamant. I was probably sad for like a day and then some boy txt asked me out. Turns out that was a prank too but I didn’t say yes. He sent it to heaps of my friends and we all started txting talking about it. I sent his friend (who I knew he was with) a txt off my dad’s phone pretending to be the girl he liked and asked him out only I’d forgotten that I’d saved my dad’s number in his phone a couple of weekends before.

 The next boyfriend I had was really nice and shy and quiet. He had little lips where the top one was kind of flat against the bit of skin between the nose + lips, or the philtrum. Kissing was fun but hard work; I felt like my lips were the Colosseum and he was a tiny grain of sand. It was probably pretty intimidating for him as well so it wasn’t surprising when I found out he kissed someone else although it wasn’t the reason for the break up. I’d kind of disliked him for a while. I suppose I thought I really liked him when we met at a friend’s party (he was so cool he made out with me on the couch the entirety of the night until I got picked up by my mum at 11:30). It was a Friday when we broke up. I spent the whole day looking at the clock tick tick tick hoping time would recognise my impatience and accelerate but just until I got to his house. I had rehearsals for the Shakespeare Festival though so I had to lie on the ground pretending to be dead in someone’s interpretation of Macbeth with real symbolic red wool wrapped around my face/neck/hands all the while my heart was thumping like a bear would thump on a car if it was drenched in honey but only on the inside. I have never biked so boldly to a boyfriend’s house before. I have never biked so chill home from a boyfriend’s house before. I’d transcended the head wind. I think I replayed the conversation just one time in my head during the ride home. It went something like this:

me: uhh hi
him: hey. comein (opens the door to his room (his bedroom was the sleepout (omg that was so cool).).)
me: um actually I think that’s a bad idea
him: oh. why?
me: oh shit. idontwannagooutanymore
him: are you sure?
me: yes. I’m sorry. I would like to be friends only if you would though? ? ????
him: yes okay. um. hey. I’m sorry. but. I kissed chelsea on monday.
me: oh.
me: that’s okay. are you two going to go out now?
him: no. i don’t think so.
me: alright then.

I felt happy for him. Chelsea had really thin lips that were sort of always pursed. I thought how they would have fit together so perfectly like lock and key. Lil lip on lil lip. Minimal saliva. I thought of his timid little face lighting up with the promise of maybe owning dominant kissing-lips! He was always so submissive between mine. We stayed friends for a wee bit but it fizzled out soon after. I do remember talking on msn; he called me “his favourite ex gf”. I figured the trick was to not like the person you date so much.

 The next boyfriend I had was big and not from NZ. He was also racist and had a mohawk. We dated for about two years. I have never been on a rollercoaster but I imagine it would feel like dating this guy without the feelings of exultation and success and only the feelings of intense anxiety and pre/post throw-up. One time though, for Christmas we retired early for the night and I got undressed and into bed and he came in completely naked except for his lower half wrapped up in wrapping paper. I remember saying “this is the best christmas present I’ve ever had” except that the best christmas present I’ve ever had was probably a board game I got when I was four where you had to dodge this vicious dog that you had to wind up first that wizzed around trying to eat you. Anyway it ended in this long drawn-out week-long episode of me walking in on him and some girl, me not talking to him, us sorting it out, me walking in on him and that same some girl, him yelling, me crying, me yelling and cutting my hand on some broken glass resulting in the loss of some movement in my hand and a massive ugly scar, a broken window, a broken heart and some mild bruising. I cried all day until I went to the movies with my bleeding hand wrapped up in tissue paper, reaching awkwardly over to grab a handful of Starburst Squirts with my left hand to the all-pervasive positivity of Jim Carrey in Yes Man . In retrospect this may have been the most comical day of my life.

 So here I am, cheated on again. My boyfriend just returned from visiting his aunt in the South of France. He slept with some girls over there. But I figured that I would probably do that too. Or at least be tempted. I can’t decide whether it counts as ‘cheating’ or not though because technically we broke up over the summer/winter but also technically he isn’t real and I made him up about a year ago when I was really bored at work with the ex gf of bf #2 and sort of took it really seriously.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Things that are really great right now

  1. Awkward and Definition by Ariel Schrag
  2. Doing my essay(s) and feeling good about it (them)
  4. I am back on LZ give it to me
  5. (hehe lyrics)
  6. GIVE IT 
  7. Never gonna give you up LZ
  8. John Bonham's moustache
  9. Having a shower and scrubbing really hard
  10. Putting my fingers in my ears in the shower and hearing and feeling the water on my wet head
  11. Slumber parties with my bike
  12. Sleepovers with real people too
  13. Getting washing done - having clean undies :::) (not that I wasn't wearing clean undies before of anything but just that the stocks were running low, ya know? I'm going to put them on the heater before I put them on oh man I'm excited to get up tomorrow)
  14. Sending presents 
  15. Receiving presents!
  16. Tiny chat 
  17. Crumpet + honey
  18. Mum and Dad
  19. Wearing hats 
  20. Cups of tea 
  21. Band practice
  22. Putting my feet into furry socks and sliding them between the fins of the heater
  23. Friends beginning with R and M and B and V
  24. CHOCOLATE BISCUITS (even just the thought of em)
  25. Steve Roggenbuck's lief philosophy
  26. Feelin' like I'm really livin' 
  27. Live it up
  28. Alice is one letter from being Alive 
  29. On a keyboard that is like 5mm 
  30. Hi I'm Alive 
  31. shit
  32. hehe 
  33. see 
  34. so close

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Tonight I'm going to sever my throat with a pair of nail clippers my vocal chords will snap between the metal blades like elastic leaving only a stump of an oesophagus and its muscles shredded into exsanguinated meat-tatters.

X-Men: First Class

Just wanna point out that turtle-neck skivvy. Also looks like Prof X is losing hard at chess. Shouldn't he be real good? Are we supposed to be so observant that we notice this and think: man prof x is so inherently good he won't even cheat at chess??
  1. Way better than Thor
  2. Wanna read the comics 
  3. Lingerie party in first 15mins: Slave to da boobies/box office.
  4. Sweet split-screen training montage
  5. Sad for Magneto  
  6. Sad for Prof X "I can't feel my legs"
  7. Lol at Prof X "Next I'll be bald or something"
  8. Eamonn said there was a 'sequel' in pre-production but the script got leaked so they're starting over. In it though apparently Magneto was blamed for the bullet that killed JFK
  9. Insane
  10. X-Men: First Class is not historically accurate - must remember
  11. Prof X does a yardie
  12. Can't decide which mutant power I'd want the most
  13. Trying to think of my own physical defects and how I can use them to save the world 
  16. I'd like something to do with fire + invisibility + flying 
  17. Like a Charizard with an Invisibility Cloak 
  18. Does Mystique ever get cold being nude all the time?

Friday, June 3, 2011

My Room 2

 David wrote about his new room and bike so I decided I would write about my new room and bike considering I moved into his old room and both of us getting new bikes at the same time seemed kind of fitting like stars aligning in the ol' cosmos or something.  

This picture was taken from my desk. The desk is sitting next to a big window. I really really like the window it's really beautiful and I like looking out it because I can see the overgrown grass of our front lawn and the white fence and the road and people walking past when I look out of it. At the moment I don't really work at my desk much because I am in love with my bed. Seriously. I 
have never loved my bed so much before. My bed is the best bed and it looks so celestial in this room it is like sleeping on God.

This is a picture of a poster by the GARAGE COLLECTIVE. It is my favourite poster in my room. My second favourite is one of a comic called Spots On The Moon. I like the moon. I put this poster here right above my bed so when I walk into my room it is the first thing I see which is nice because I like it so much. Also it makes me feel tough and confident like I'm in the Mafia or something. There will be no horse head in this bed. Also at the bottom of the pic there is some big(?)ish earthquake cracks in the wall and the
plaster comes through. It's a bit crumbly. At night sometimes I hear the plaster fall down inside the walls. But it might be a cute lil mouse. I sleep on the side closest to my lamp/heater/tea coaster though so it doesn't get me.

This next picture is of the couch that David left me. Thanks for the couch David. It's another one of my favourite things in my room. The couch is directly opposite my bed and next to my wardrobe area where I hang my dresses/cardigans/raincoat/shirts/skirt. My shoes are lined up on the ground underneath. I play ps3 on this couch and so do my flatmates. Today I played Ratchet and Clank. Last night Jono played Portal. Me and Eamonn watched Curb Your Enthusiasm on it as well. I'm going to start playing Ratchet and Clank heaps. Then I'm going to play GTA4 and steal and kill a lot of things. I want to play Team Fortress 2 on it but I don't think I'll be able to because the internet connection in my room is a bit capricious. 

Oh man. The fireplace got so messed up in the earthquake. Thankfully though David put some sticky-plasters around it which makes it look so much better. See down the bottom there is a little sticky-plaster lying in all the dirt/dust/ash/bits of wall/concrete? I should probably talk to the landlord about getting this fixed. I kind of like how my room is kind of fucked up though. Because I think I've made it look quite nice and feel nice and comfortable. I like the reminder that nothing is perfect but being really happy and optimistic about it anyway. The thing on the right is one of those wire artwork thingys (don't know what it's called) that was popular in the 70s I think. It's just wire wrapped around nails really tightly. I got it in Auckland a couple of years ago from a Salvation Army store with my sister. I think of her everytime I see it. I should put it up somewhere. In saying that though, having it by the messy fireplace is beneficial for my mental health because when I accidentally stand on all that yuck stuff with socks on I get upset that my socks are messy (hate messy socks) and have bits stuck in them but looking at something I like makes me forget about the socks or at least I will just brush the yuck stuff off and it will be no. big. deal. 

That's my bookcase and my dresser. My bookcase is there so I can see it from my bed. The dresser is there because that is the most convenient space in the room for it to be. The bookcase and my bank account are kind of dating at the moment. It might even be more serious than that. A lot of the books in there are actually physical manifestations of the copulation of money and literature encouraged by me on the internet in the last few weeks. My mum and I painted the bookcase when I was ten or eleven or twelve. We painted it white then painted it blue then brushed over the wet blue paint with dry brushes and maybe like sandpaper or something to make it look 'rough' and give it 'texture'. It's blue with white streaks. I liked painting the bookcase with my mum a lot because she let me do it; usually when I painted stuff like walls I dripped it all over the carpet which made everyone angry but now they get this painter called Gary to paint the walls/ceilings whenever they change/fix the house. My favourite thing is my bookcase being full. Satiated. My bookcase is a big fat tummy but instead of a stomach there is a brain. On the outside though it just looks like a massive tummy wearing a white shirt bursting at the buttons. 

This is my bike. It's brand new. It's navy blue. This is a pretty mysterious photograph of my bike. All I know about her is that she is a girl and a blessing to ride. Like riding a cross between Sister Mary Clarence and Carmen Sandiego. Today I got to uni 5mins faster. Maybe even more than that. I feel so much better on a bike again. More human... or something. I dunno. It's easier to bike. Not dealing with the stresses of driving. Biking allows me to observe more stuff and appreciate it. Today I got smiled at by all the other cyclists on the road. I feel like I am a part of some kind of secret bicycle community and everybody is real sweet. I watched the Handmaid's Tale today for English (we are studying the book). The movie is really bad but it made me upset and all I could think about was biking home and how nice that would be. I thought I would cry on my bike but that was okay because we would sort of comfort each other. I listened to Big Momma Thornton though and instead of crying we were invincible. My bike really likes Big Momma Thornton. She is a whole lotta woman. We (all three of us) were like "FTP" (fuck the patriarchy) all the way home.

It's really nice living in David's old room. I feel more 'at home' here than I have anywhere really. I feel calmer or something. It's really great. I guess that has a lot to do with remnants of David and also a lot to do with my cool ass flatmates.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

public bathroom

I had a jacket on
I had it zipped up so tight my wings ached

I remember a lot of looking
and touching
like magnets

a box of mints
leather gloves

climbing on

I rolled down a grassy hill

there were so many birds
lovers, strollers
even an elephant

there was everything
in the world
it was so real
I could see it

so beautiful
and warm
the temperature was measured in promises

Jim Hickey would say

20 promises today
t-shirt and shorts
one layer

no coat