Thursday, April 28, 2011

Delayed Replays

I got this in the mail today. It's another collection of comic strips by Liz Prince. It was the best thing about today. I am writing this at midday but I can already tell this is the best thing that is going to happen today. This could be slightly depressing because no more good things are going to happen, but also exciting because I get to look forward to reading it. When I've read it I will write more.

I went to work and got sent home from work because I read the roster wrong. I'm doing a real bad job of demonstrating intelligence to my co-workers. I got a rice ball though and took it to my friends house and we played Trivial Pursuit (was real bad at that too). While I was eating my rice ball however, I read Delayed Replays. I enjoyed this heaps. I enjoyed this more than Will You Still Love Me If I Wet The Bed? although I prefer when the content is all related, I think. Delayed Replays is a random assortment of comics, ranging from like, her boyfriends to friends to cats to farts to bogies to video games to veganism to licking bums to save lives. It was really funny. I laughed out loud and showed my friends some of the comics that I really enjoyed. I'm going to make them read the whole thing. I was right when I said this was the best part of my day. But what made it super good was reading it by the fire with cool people + rice ball. Her blog. Her website.

Comic #7

Comic #6

Monday, April 25, 2011

Today I am going to unravel my small intestine and wrap it around myself 1000 times really tight so it cuts into my skin and leaves little red marks and I can't breathe.

Friday, April 22, 2011

I love this thing: old dead men (part 2)

John Bonham seemed like a cool guy. He wasn't old when he died. Like 32 or 34. Something like that. He died by choking on his own vomit. Led Zep had a band practice and they were drinking and things and then they had a break and went to sleep and in the morning he was a corpse. He had a drinking problem. He got really aggressive when he got drunk people said. But they also said this was scary and unfortunate and interesting and intimidating because he was the loveliest guy sober. I think he started drinking because he missed his family. I know he definitely had a daughter and a son, I'm not sure about any more than that though. One time close to when he died someone who was on tour with them went into his room and said "hey bonzo what you up to man?" and he replied "Just wrappin up these dolls for my wee girl. It's her birthday. I miss her dude". Apparently he was real bummed about missing his kids childhoods. In videos of him not playing drums he seems really lovely. He had a reputation for being a sweet chill guy. 

John "Bonzo" Bonham got in the band through a friend of Jimmy Page. Maybe actually it was John Paul Jones. I can't remember. John Bonham had a gig playing in a covers band then tried out for 'Jimmy Page's new thing'. Jimmy dug his style and asked him to be in. At first he was unsure though because being in a covers band meant sweet cash and a new thing was a bit of a gamble. Paid off. 

He is/was one of the greatest drummers of all time because he is/was 'solid and fearless'. He is a good guy because he was considerate of people he was on tour with and wasn't mean to anyone. Also he was fun to be around. Also he had a cool beard and cool hats. He smiles a lot. He seemed to have the right idea. From now on when I have a decision to make I will ask myself "what would John Bonham do?" Except when I am drinking alcohol.

I recommend watching And The Song Remains The Same, the Led Zep doco/feature film/live show. John Bonham is just a cool dude driving a car, hanging with his son and walking in some grass. 

After he died Led Zeppelin wasn't the same. They were such a close knit bunch of bros. His son, however took over for a bit and played some shows with them. People respected him because he respected them. I wish he was still alive. If he was he would be 63 and wearing a cool hat.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Grouper - Alien Observer

Here is the video mentioned earlier. Hamish Parkinson made it. Everything about the song is really wonderful. And the vid. Definitely watch it. No regrets.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Will you still love me if I wet the bed?

This came in the mail for me today. It's a little book of short comics by Liz Prince about her and her boyfriend, Kevin. It's a lot like the ones I read by Jeffrey Brown. Actually there is a little comic-compliment (comicpliment?)/ recommendation about 3 leaves in by JB which is real funny too. They must be bros. This was her first graphic novel I think which was sort of accidental; it started off as her own private journal. I read this on her blog. I really liked reading WYSLMIIWTB. It was funny and cute and I liked the sketchbook-style drawings. I also liked how she light-heartedly made fun of the little insecurities in her relationship with Kevin. Reading this made me happy. I'm going to get more stuff by Liz Prince. I also read some other stuff by her on the internet and found out her birthday is the week before christmas. My birthday is a week before christmas too! Well, 10 days. But in that comic she asks her dad for a record player for a combined christmas and birthday present. I also get combined birthday and christmas presents! She has/had a cat called Science as well which I thought was awesome. This is her website here.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Some stuff about this week:

  1. Led Zeppelin
  2. Skipping class to watch Led Zeppelin documentaries
  3. Didn't listen to any Led Zeppelin yesterday 
  4. Actually maybe I did in the morning
  5. Yeah I did
  6. But I didn't at night
  7. Scout Niblett
  8. Listening to Scout Niblett
  9. Looking up Scout Niblett at uni instead of doing my readings for class
  10. Listening to Scout Niblett instead of Led Zeppelin
  11. Liking Scout Niblett a lot
  12. Looking at pictures of Scout Niblett
  13. Thinking "Scout Niblett is so cute"
  14. Day dreaming about Scout Niblett
  15. Having a massive crush on Scout Niblett
  16. Watching videos on YouTube of Scout Niblett
  17. There's a cool one with Bonnie 'Prince' Billy with face paint on and she has fake teeth in
  18. Feeling really good/nervous about this new thing
  19. These new things
  20. ::: )
  21. Kind of missing Led Zeppelin a bit 
  22. A lot
  23. Not washing my face before bed 
  24. Sometimes not even my teeth
  25. Gross
  26. Red wine
  27. Cheese toastie

Friday, April 15, 2011

The world is so beautiful

The world is so beautiful
And I am so ugly

The world is so beautiful
And I am making it uglier

The world is so beautiful
My ugliness is a massive python
It coils right around the world
And squeezes the world until the world’s eyes pop out of its head

My ugly is a snake
That is pretty phallic
Freud is smirking at me
I don’t recall ever actually wanting a penis
But what would I know
I am so ugly
And I am killing this beautiful world
With my massive ugly penis
Today I am going to slice up my tongue into little strips of stir fry meat and stuff them into my ears, nose and eyes.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

This came in the mail today. The back of the box says: 

"30 different color and black-and-white cat postcards to send or keep by Jeffrey Brown". 

I laughed aloud at most of them. So cute. Gonna show Simmy.

I want to share them. I don't have 30 friends though. If anyone actually reads this and wants a JBrown cute-as-heck postcard, email me yr address (alicemayconnolly[at] and I will send it. I will send anywhere. Would be cool to have a penpal in France though.  Actually doesn't have to be in France. Just able to speak French like a pro. That's the dream. 

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I love this thing: old dead men (part 1)

Richard Brautigan is my favourite writer. He is dead now. He shot himself in the head. He has a daughter called Ianthe or something who is a writer as well. She found the pages of An Unfortunate Woman after he died and thought it was his "best yet" and got it published in his memory. I am grateful to her for that. I am trying to collect all of his books. I have five now. His books are quite hard to find I think. When I was in Sydney I talked to a man at a second hand book store in Kings Cross who said that a lot of them are out of print now. I couldn't imagine finding many in second hand bookstores either; why would any one want to not have his books? Can't fathom that. Richard Brautigan is very witty. He is very funny. He is satirical and anxious and loves and hates. He looks at things and sees beauty. He looks at things and sees ugly. He looks at things and sees nothing. Sometimeshedoesn'tlikespacesbetweenwords. Sometimes he doesn't even like words. He likes the outdoors. He likes bees. I talk about Richard Brautigan in the present tense even though he is dead for many reasons:

  1. I love him.
  2. When someone dies and leaves behind a legacy they are always alive even one million years later because always someone is discovering them for the first time and getting to know them over a coffee or a tea on a cane chair on the patio or in a café or on a boat or in a library or on the internet or all of those things simultaneously and therefore they are existing then and there always always always.
  3. I think of him as my friend even though he exists in my head and in my bookcase. I think about him probably 3-7 times a day. There is a cool pic of him on the internet in a really big hat standing beside a mailbox. I think about that.
  4. I call him RB. Even if Richard Brautigan is dead, RB is not. Flesh rots, pet names are 4eva.
There are a few books I still need to read. I think when I move into the Log Cabin I can trade with Eamonn. I think he has some. Even if he doesn't I will let him read the ones I have. I like RB's book of short stories The Revenge of the Lawn. I also like Sombrero Fallout and A Confederate General from Big Sur (his first novel). Dreaming of Babylon is also real good. Real real good. His poetry is wonderful. I've read a lot of his poetry in The Edna Webster Collection of Undiscovered Writing and online too. I read it again and again, when I feel sad or uninspired. Edna Webster was the mother of one of his girlfriends I think (I think). From what I gather she was poor and he really liked her and (when he broke up with her daughter??) he gave her a bunch of stuff he had written (poetry, short stories, little "scripts") with a note that said something like "have this and sell it when I am famous". And she did. The guys that collated it all went nuts over the stuff. And Edna Webster wasn't poor any more.

Everyone wins when they read Richard Brautigan. 

Everyone wins except Richard Brautigan.

Monday, April 11, 2011

I am green and I don’t know where you are. In the night you brushed my hair one strand at a time and they screamed aloud I told you to be gentle. Nothing matters apart from the sound of the red glass tinkering and the waterfall. I have the Niagra Falls in my eyes but no one cares about nature any more. I am red and pregnant with years of miscarried delusions and incomprehensible metaphors legs sewn shut mouth sewn shut eyes sewn shut with the thread of a figurative phallacy.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

My two and a half year old niece is more emotionally mature than me

My two and a half year old niece is more emotionally mature than me
Her old heart will wisen 
Under a head of brittle grey 
And little lines around the mouth
Will reach like a daughter

Mine still
Will whither
And poisoned

Thursday, April 7, 2011


I'm being interviewed for this today on Radio One. Probably gonna talk about surfing or something. 

Wednesday, April 6, 2011





I love this thing: passive port-a-loo participation

I love watching people walk down the street to see if they are going to use a port-a-loo or just stroll past it.

Monday, April 4, 2011

I love this thing: food


I don't have a photo of a real life curry roll but I have this one which I think is quite accurate in terms of scale and beauty although it looks a bit like an envelope made of poo. In the weekend I went to the movies in Sumner (Never Let Me Go (real sad. real good grey clothes. real good green jacket. real good Sally Hawkins (dresses). real good hair cuts).) and afterwards got fish n chips from the shop across the road. I always find it hard to decide what to have when I get fish n chips because I don't get it much anymore. When I was little I used to get choc donut. Then I got potato fritter for a while. I still really like those two things but this time I wanted something else. I got a corn fritter. It was ok. I saw a friend from work in the store and talked to him while I was waiting and him and his friends got their food and started eating it. I saw this really interesting brown thing on the paper. It looked like it would fit in the palm of my hand and protrude maybe an inch either side like the sheath of a samurai sword.

Him: Yep

For some reason I thought that a curry roll was real small like a mini spring roll. I regretted the corn fritter instantly. (Still regretting). 

It was a good thing that I was being particularly unhealthy this weekend because I had fish n chips the next night as well at Joe's house. His Dad asked me what I wanted and again I had that sweaty decision to make between fish/choc donut/corn frit/potato frit/curry roll. I said I would really like a curry roll but I wasn't sure if the shop would have any. I said I would have a piece of fish instead but I really didn't want a piece of fish. I really wanted a curry roll. I got one. It is fortunate that people all over Christchurch like curry rolls and it's not just a Sumner thing. This one was even bigger than the one my friend from work had! It was really nice. It had a bit of mince in it though. I thought a curry roll would be nicer without the mince. I dipped the curry roll in tomato sauce a bit. I didn't have many chips because I was all about the curry roll. Even though it had mince in it and would be better without I'm still going to say I "love" it because I'm going to get it all the time from now on. I think it would be nice dipped in aioli, mayonnaise, tartare, chilli, spicy apricot, plum, Worcestershire, fejoa, honey mustard sauces as well. I'm really grateful that I got to have a curry roll. It would probably even be good with hollandaise. But probably better just by itself actually.