Monday, February 21, 2011


There was a small, rural township and in it were maybe 1000 people
Sven was one of them and he had a friend called Trish.

Here are some facts:

Sven and Trish grew up in the township next door to each other
They had sex once
They were 15.

Sven’s father was the mayor of the township
He was also called Sven
He wore a sombrero everyday
He wore the sombrero everyday for 24 years
He was the only one in the township who wore a hat
No one else in the township was allowed to wear a hat.

Once a man rode into town on a
He had a helmet on and Sven’s father had the town’s horses trample the man to death
Sven was the only boy in the town with a bike after that.

When Sven and Trish had sex
He said she would have to if she wanted to have a ride on his
He said she could only have sex with him if she wore his father’s sombrero
Trish put on Sven’s father’s sombrero and had sex with Sven.
Sven’s father came home and caught Trish having sex with his son and his sombrero.
Just prior to Sven’s father’s entrance however
The sombrero had fallen off Trish’s head and onto the pillow kind of where
Sven’s head was.

Trish pedalled really fast away from the Svens.

She is 25 and still pedalling.

Trish doesn’t have her virginity or her friend Sven anymore
But she has a bike and a sombrero and the ability to vote anywhere in the world.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Last night a boy asked for a lighter; I gave him a tampon; he called me a bitch.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

When I am tired I will go to bed

Instead of talking to people on gmail chat

When I am tired and talking to people on gmail chat I get irrational and confusing

And they ask me what I mean

And I can’t tell them

Because I don’t know myself

They say

Stop being so cryptic

And say my name afterwards

Which makes it so much more intimate

Invasive and scary kind of too

And I feel bad that I said anything to begin with

So I say bye



Which only makes it worse

Sometimes gmail chat is very serious

The space theme is cool

UNKNOWN (2011)

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra

 This is the first movie I have seen for free since Burlesque (2011). Can't believe how someone can be so lucky in such a short amount of time. It was a ROCK FM promotion too. At Hoyts in Riccarton.  I snuck in left over pretzels and peanut M&Ms. I regretted not buying a popcorn. I was scared that they would see the snack-packets and not let us in. I regretted not buying a coke. There was a big line of ROCK FM listeners. While in the queue Ben pointed out the poster for Never Let Me Go. I want to see it when it comes out. I think he does as well, but secretly because it's about love and not assassins like Unknown. Also it looks good. It's based on the book (with the same name) by Kazuo Ishiguro. He is a Japanese-born British author. I want to read the book before I see the film. He wrote the original story for The Saddest Music in the World which Guy Maddin and some other guy rewrote and shot and won lots of awards for. When I was looking at the poster for Never Let Me Go I looked at it with such vehemence that I walked backwards into a big Maori man who was eating a delicious looking ice-cream. I said "Oh my god I'm so sorry" and laughed thinking 'oh no I walked back into him so hard that he nearly mushed his ice-cream all over the lady in front and what a waste of an ice-cream that would have been especially if it was a banana choc-top because they are the best'. Also that he had a very broad back and I was tempted to lean up against it again. At the entrance to the theatre THE ROCK FM promo team and a security man from the cinema were taking everyones cellphones and putting them in plastic zip-lock bags and getting people to write down their numbers. What use would their numbers be when their phones are in zip-lock bags? I asked why and they said they were taking stuff that could be used to record the movie. Guess measures like that have to be taken with THE ROCK FM listeners. Was kind of disheartening on the other hand that THE ROCK FM lack that much faith in their audience. I was embarrassed that my cellphone can't record video (or take pictures either). We got good seats. There was only one trailer. I can't remember what for though.

 Jaume Collet-Serra directed the 2005 remake of House of Wax with PARIS HILTON. He also directed this movie. It stars Liam Neeson. Also Diane Kruger as an illegal immigrant from Bosnia. It's set in Germany. It is an action thriller. Basically Liam Neeson gets in a car accident and loses his memory and has major identity/relationship problems while being chased by assassins and there is a big scientific summit and a bomb and a cure for famine. There is also this BIG TWIST, like two thirds of the way in and I don't even care about spoiling it LIAM NEESON IS AN ASSASSIN ACTUALLY. It was kind of a bummer because the whole time I thought he was this cool botanist. He thought he was this cool botanist the whole time too and I suppose he was more shocked/bummed out than anyone when he found out he was really a pro liar/killer. Instead of Liam Neeson the bad guys should have gone after the screenwriters and that House of Wax director. I got the impression they kind of dug themselves into a hole with the assassin thing, like they pitched half of the story to Warner Bros and the Bros thought 'sweet man Liam Neeson is a real smart botanist and has a hot wife and this House of Wax guy seems real good like he's going to pay homage to mean films like Blade Runner which we actually distributed back in '82', then got 'green lit' and started shooting and then got to half way and thought shit, now what do we do? I bet they thought of Fight Club and toyed with the idea of giving Liam Neeson like, dissociated personalities or something, but judging by the scene in the museum however, where he makes out with his wife real sneaky amongst an exhibition of giant portraits of peoples faces representing all too obviously his personal predicament, it was way over their heads. What if he was an assassin but forgot he was one and was good now? they thought next. Yeah! Assassin!!!!! Then they thought shit we've already shot half of it, it's too late to get Angelina Jolie in now, let's just have more car chases and maybe no one will notice? Yeah! Assassin!!!!! they thought, this is gonna be the greatest redemption film since Shawshank.

 There was some good stuff about it though:

1. January Jones wearing a backless dress
2. Moment of understanding/male bonding during spy suicide 
3. Liam Neeson tries to kill the guy with chic specs like Roy Batty kills Tyrell in BR. I think this is the only time where any notion of homage is achieved, although it attempts many times to do so. Or they're just dumb. I dunno. Feel like Serra got confused with the meanings of homage and cliché the whole time. It would be a pretty shit way to die regardless. 
4. Liam Neeson is kind of sexy?

 The worst part was when the pretzels and M&Ms ran out so early on. When a car exploded a boy in front of us raised both his arms in the air and with fists clenched growled "yeeaarrrr". After it finished we went to the supermarket and got 18 Tasman Bitters for $22.95. 


Wednesday, February 16, 2011


I sailed on a cruise
Ship with
From January 30 -
February 5 

It was okay.

I was excited the whole time
Less that it was a cruise 
And more because I got to write about it afterwards.
I took cameras
And rolls of film. 
I took pictures and videos 
And when the films ran out 
I put them back in their cylinders 
And into the front of my backpack
And zipped it up. 

One of the cameras I haven't used since I was 
I forget what the pictures must look like.
Also the film was a bit different and I want to see what the pictures are like on that film
And the lighting
And how that affects it. 
I dunno. 
Just experimenting I guess.

I thought this was also a good 
To hang out with my family.
We don't all get to be together like this.
And Nana is getting old too.
There won't be another chance 
I don't think. 
I dunno. 
I wanted to document it in a more solid form than a 
Me m    or           y.

I haven't got the photos.
I lost the film. 



 I can’t remember whether it is the blue of the sheets, or the white the right way up. And if so then, how would the pillowcases match? When you arrived it was different. There is a space here, albeit chiefly vacant, a feeling, that I think would be nonexistent given any other circumstances. Unique. When you arrived it was exciting. New. Like the first time. Exciting, but also anxious like playing a card game with a new person and having a handful of all the right cards and winning and really impressing them but then being so worried from then that you could never win again based on skill, just on fluky hands  and now they’re going to be disappointed in you when you lose againagainagainagainagainagainagainagain.

 At the same time though there’s this comfort like an old, contented dog who sleeps liberally in the middle of the lounge while women in stilettos centimetres from it’s nose eat squares of cheese and olives and scratch their teeth with toothpicks while their husbands take off their jackets and roll up their sleeves and loosen their ties and there is laughter but there is also silence and everybody forgets what was just said not that it even matters but all the while the dog, in the thick of it all is sound asleep and democratically farting.

 Now you've gone and I've stripped the bed and the space that was so deftly filled, is vacant again. The duvet is confused in a pile on the ground and the pillows are pining for their cases. It’s that space though I think which is dually the best and hardest part of ‘it all’. Surely not many others have occupied this realm (save like, Jeffrey Brown or something), nor are able to comprehend it. I like that we are far away and yet so close. I like that sometimes it’s the opposite. I’m going to put new sheets on my bed and sleep in it.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

I want to write poems that aren't about what happened in my day

On alternate lines. I want them to have structure and


meanings and allusions to things and have some
kind of rhythm and beat 

Instead they appear like diary entries 
day planners
that insurance salesmen use 

The courier didn't come today. 
Or yesterday.

Will call tomorrow.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Real quick poem in Picadilly Arcade SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA

The internet kiosk ate my money 
And mum and dad are eating their lunch.
It's not even midday yet and 
I've been online for an hour maybe
In a mall.

It's okay
I'm going on a boat again soon
and two dollar coins are small here
so not much change.

Sydney #2

It's probably actually more the combo of sunglasses + hat (bucket (denim)) + backpack.

Thursday, February 3, 2011


In shorts and t-shirt realising I look like a tourist in my home town.