Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Burlesque (2011)

Directed by Steve Antin
Starring CHER and CHRISTINA AGUILERA 



 It wasn't the 40-something percentage rating it got on IMDB, the star-studded cast or even the promise of near-naked babes clad in heavily jewelled lingerie which compelled me to see this movie; it was the Readings Cinema vouchers I received a year ago for Employee of the Month which expired the day I used them. But for sake of 'the gaze' and it's relationship to this genre in particular which I so longed so much to lose myself in, I'll say it had something to do with the babes. Certainly Steve Antin had some direction in mind when h- 

 I felt like it attempted to rekindle what was so alluring about musicals in the 30s; escapism in the face of societal collapse. Or something??? One thing for sure though POPCORN and CHOCOLATE is the BEST combination and will make ANY FILM so much more enjoyable. Ben and I had a bag of Maltesers and a bag of mixup M&Ms in our popcorn (highly recommend the 'Couples Combo' (popcorn + 2 drinks).). I advise no dinner before the movie if you plan to go in the evening, we didn't even get to cardboard-for-kernels at the bottom; had to throw out half a box of heaven. Feel like I need to brand this. Choc-Pop. Pop-Late. Corn-Choc. Yeah. 

Some more things about Burlesque:

1. Monotonous camera movement
2. Irritable lighting 
3. Anemic acting
4. Real good costumes (definitely the strongest element)
5. More deficiencies in the presumptions that XTINA and CHER can act good and so too much faith in close ups to pull the narrative along. You are NOT Al Pacino, CHER.
6. Narrative banality. THE DREAM isn't real, bros; see. the 40s.
7. Bitchy/slutty protagonist
8. CHER's solo, "You haven't seen the last of me". Shit. Fuck. 

Burlesque: 1.5/5 (1 for costumes, 0.5 for lipstick)

Choc-Corn: 5/5 



 Oh, what the hell:


 Definitely less to do with the plot and more to do with Cher's comeback/insecurities/comeback insecurities. 

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