Wednesday, February 27, 2013

things i'm going to buy once i start working more

  1. drums (floor and snare (maybe a ride cymbal//hi hats))
  2. steam mop
  3. sim city 5 

Friday, February 22, 2013

NZ Fringe Festival #1

Wheels of Justice 

Group devised piece. You get to ride your bike through Wellington, all around the little side streets and alley-ways. The show follows a murder-mystery formula where groups led by 'cops' try and piece together the puzzle of two different deaths. The first of a prominent council member; the second of a young street artist. This was the first time I've actually ridden my bike around Wellington and it blimmin ruled. The show had a few problems at the start - trying to get lots of people sorted out with bikes (you can hire them). I felt like I was in a CSI/Castle/SVU video game and seeing as those crime shows are my guilty pleasure I felt pretty ecstatic all the way through. 

A Play About Space

Written and directed by Uther Dean. (About space obviously). Deconstructed so you see the props being used in straight up DIY fashion. The humour came from the ingenuity in which the props were used eg. talking into a fan to make a computer voice. Also great performances especially from Paul Waggott who ran around ceaselessly on stage in an array of different characters. This was a really fun watch.

Home / The Hilarious Comedy about How I Nearly Killed Myself / A Play About How I Nearly Killed Myself But Didn't And Then Learned A Lot About Life Afterwards

Written and performed by Freya Desmarais, directed by Penny Lawrence. I saw this last night. I really liked it. Freya Desmarais performs alone on stage and shares with the audience not only how she nearly killed herself, but how she thought and felt and how it maybe effected those close to her. There's also sex and love and lots of boxes. She mentions she isn't a stellar performer and I like that, I like the conversational tone, the imperfections of the piece which mainly boiled down to not being able to hear her at times. It's still very theatrical with sound design and projections and dream-like sequences. It makes a nice balance to the otherwise very colloquial chat. It's funny as well which is great because depression is funny. Wouldn't it be hilarious if depression plays became a thing.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

poetry zine #2

I made this new zine for Wellington Zinefest last year. It's called Nurturing a Healthy Camel-Toe. It's got some new-ish writing in it: poetry and prose. If you want it I'll send you a copy, just email me your address. Same kind of deal with 'Cat' zine.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013


So I've written a show for the Wellington Fringe Festival. I'll also be performing in it by myself. It's directed by wonderful actors, writers and directors, Jonathan Power and Kenneth Gaffney who have recently graduated from Toi Whakaari.

There will be some cool things like me dressed up as a vampire with lots of pimples on my face, heaps of extended metaphors about life and death and failed romance, lots of my own personal recollections from my childhood, blood, general endearing charm, Beethovens Midnight Sonata and Taylor Swift.

click this picture for a link to the facebook event page. please come.

'How would you squeeze your zits if you didn't have a reflection?'

It's hard enough being a vampire these days let alone having a face ravaged by acne. I had a name once, but now I go by Vampimple. This is my story of death, loneliness, and dealing with my face. 

Vampimple is being performed as part of the Wellington Fringe Festival.

Show dates are as followed:

Wednesday 6 March, 8:30pm
Friday 8 March, 8:30pm
Saturday 9 March, 8:30pm

**please note NO SHOW THURSDAY 7 MARCH**

The show starts at 8:30pm and will run for about 40 minutes. Please come early to grab a good seat (there are couches). Bring a cushion just in case.


Big thank you to every one involved at Nineteen Tory Street for letting us use the space and being very great and supportive for creative things happening in Wellington! Check out what they are doing here:

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

bad pics from new room

I had this idea about blogging more or just writing on the internet more frequently in general this year but I don't really know if I have it in me tbh. No one even reads blogs. I'll end up getting a tumblr at some stage this year I bet you. Probably right before I buy an iphone. Jesus. Anyway I moved in to the nicest room in the house I have 2x beautiful views, a desk, and enough space to walk around. Ironically it is now two people friendly, but that is okay I am happy being in this space with all my things around me, decorated in a way I like, as symmetrical as I can make it, alone and content with my work. I have a lot of storage (almost too much really). I have a neat lil drawer just for zines. I've been imagining people coming over just to read them with me on the ground in the sun. Most of the time zines get bought, read once, and stored away messily in a dark box in the highest of cupboards or the deepest of shelves. It'd be nice for them to see the light of day and pass hands more often. I've started taking some into work with me though and putting them up in the magazine racks instead of the New Ideas and the Womens Days. I think it's appreciated. I also found my old books from my childhood that I have placed along the mantlepiece. My favourite ones are: The Roald Dahl Treasury; Treasury of Bible Stories; and, The Complete Adventures of Peter Rabbit.

Friday, December 28, 2012

2013 predictions

  1. Will get an iphone 
  2. Will get my heart broken 
  3. make a lil vege garden 
  4. Will find my copy of Orange Box ps3 game disc
  5. Won't play it 
  6. date someone for ~3months 
  7. fuck dating 
  8. make some best friends
  9. band will play some shows, the first one will be terrible
  10. hang out with caro way more
  11. read a lot more of the poetry i like
  12. via borrowing jackson's books 
  13. internet fling (ugh)
  14. send more mail 
  15. fix my bike up and friggin ride that lil dude 
  16. see the great gatsby at the theatres and love it
  17. be incredibly poor all year 
  18. be very stressed out
  19. nearly get a great job but just miss out
  20. fringe festival show will be average 
  21. do some more stand up which will go okay depending on if i finish the rest of buffy 
  22. watch more tv shows 
  23. buy a lot of prints by comics artists online 
  24. get drunk most weekend days (via getting my heart broken)
  25. romanticize living alone 
  26. get a cat 
  27. simba will die
  28. write a few scripts for a tv show and won't do anything with them 
  29. be very emotional
  30. big doubts regarding output and productivity 
  31. become a lot more highly strung about hygiene and tidiness around the flat
  32. have fights with eamonn and hannah but only because we will become a very tight-knit lil family (like brothers and sisters)

Thursday, November 22, 2012


when you were small, your mother poked two holes in a sheet and put it over your head. she stood you in front of the oven next to your little brother. you found a plastic orange basket on your arm but it was empty. you held your brother’s hand. his hand was sticky. he was dressed like a chicken. he kept quacking even when you told him he was supposed to be a chicken. you could see your mother okay through the two holes in the sheet, but you could see her better when you hooked your fingers in the holes and pulled them down. she said, get together now. she said, stand still. she said, now say boooo! your brother said booo! you smiled. she held down the button. you said booooo! the camera flashed. you disappeared.

- Carolyn DeCarlo

(i forgot to put this is ghost zine i feel terrible about it. i love caro a lot. caro edits UP Literature, a sexy online journal. Caro's blog is great too and there is a list there of where some of her other writing is hanging out).


Saturday, November 17, 2012


Wellington Zinefest 2012

Zinefest is today. I'll be running an out-of-towners stall with Eamonn and also selling zinefest t-shirts and playing a cool playlist and being half of an MC. Come along it's from 1-5 today at Mighty Mighty. 

Sunday, November 11, 2012


Jacob Steinberg curated a wonderful ebook 'Cityscapes' featuring writers from all over the world writing about the cities they live in, or have lived in. I wrote about Wellington. It is a very well-compiled anthology and during the whole process I was mainly just really impressed with Jacob's professionalism and organisation. I feel lucky to have been a part of it.

You can read the whole ebook here.

And also read some thoughts Stephen Tully Dierks had upon reading it, here.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Thursday, October 18, 2012

probably boring school work

For a class I did this semester (mentioned below) we had to make a short video on zero budget, and shoot it with a device that isn't a video camera. The next step was to reflect on the whole process; what went well, what didn't, what we changed etc, via blog updates. I decided to make the blog public if anyone is interested. It can be accessed here.

Thursday, October 11, 2012


for Hamish

I am looking for the friendliest most loveliest piece

once I find it I will put it in
I will wrap it in the friendliest most loveliest paper,
tie it with the friendliest most loveliest bow,
and smile my most friendliest
most loveliest
when I pass it to you with the
most friendliest
most loveliest

This piece,
albeit friendly
is many other things
like the rain, and the gum stuck to your shoe, and your receding hair line, and the top button of your shirt

it can do many other things

it can eat canned chicken if it wants
it can tie its shoe laces

this piece can close its eyes and
look out the window
for all I damn well care

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

FILM480 video project

I'm taking a class called DIY versus the Studio Giant at university at the moment. One of the projects for the DIY segment is to make a lil video on no budget and with a device that is not a video camera. I used my laptop webcam. We have to do things like make the film, upload it, and promote it, and then critically analyse the whole process, which we get marked on later.

So here is the thing I made. Yeah.

This Girl's Life

Sunday, October 7, 2012

habitat doom issue

A poem I wrote got put in the latest issue of habitat.

Saturday, October 6, 2012


On Wednesday my Pampa died. Pampa was my dad's dad, 86 years old. He had the biggest ears and the deepest crevasse-like wrinkles I've ever seen. He could wiggle his ears by themselves, not just at the hairline either. When I was little he wiggled his ears at me when my parents weren't looking, usually over dinner. It was fascinating and hilarious and I choked on many a pea, potato, and sausage, giggling at him from across the table.

Later in life he hooked up with his partner Joy. They met at ballroom dancing, which he was very good at. Once at Sequoia 88 (very classy chch restaurant) my dad got me a tequila sunrise (no tequila) and I thought I was drunk and Pampa flung me around the dance floor leading waltz', foxtrots, swing dances that at the time I figured I ruled at, yet in retrospective he was just a very good lead. 

Pampa moved in with Joy and helped her in her garden. He had two worm farms that churned up the compost and green waste, giving it lots of nutrients to put back in the garden. Their property backed onto a little brook, and the land was the most perfect balance of manicured garden and natural wild shrubbery. It was huge and extensive, with multiple little tracks petering off in different directions to the vegetable patch, the washing line, or the shed. Flowers and fruit bloomed and fell everywhere; it was something out of a Beatrix Potter book.

Those aren't the only hobbies he had; he played tennis right up until his late 70s I think, and snooker. He was fit and had lots of friends. He had a really deep voice, in a strange accent I couldn't place which I think was a mixture of English, Irish, and Bluff. He placed emphases on odd syllables, or just on everything, like: HEl-LO HOW are YOUUU. 

Pampa was a pretty choice dude, it would have been cool for me if he didn't live in Auckland my whole life, but it seemed to work out pretty well for him.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

My Kafka Baggage **REDUX**

I made a blog last year with Eamonn and David. It's called My Kafka Baggage. We would just record ourselves sharing our favourite short stories (because short stories are the best) and other people could download them or just listen off the computer and get to hear our favourite writers and so on. We stopped for a while (I don't know why) which was a shame, BUT NOW it's back in business and we're opening it up for anyone to partake in. So, if you want to record yourself reading something please email me alicemayconnolly[at]gmail[dot]com.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

ghost stories wanted

I'm making a zine for zinefest about ghosts. It's going to be called 'ooooooooo (ghost zine)'. I'd like to include stories by people who have had spooky stuff happen to them. Maybe you have stayed in a house where the doors have swung open or you've heard footsteps when there wasn't anyone around or you've done a seance (that'd be cool to read about (never done a seance (but I have watched Now and Then))). I'd like to collate these stories and put em all together. This is open to anyone so if you would prefer to draw a comic or anything else then that is fine too. It would be preferable to read events that legitimately freaked you out but feel free to take artistic license to any level. I actually wanna make this.

Please email me: with your submissions (in a word doc or jpeg file) by November 1. I'm not going to exclude anyone, and your work will be credited in the zine.

Should also mention that payment will be in a copy of the zine and I'll sell em only to balance the production costs.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

presents i could get myself for after uni

  1. nice fabrics to make bunting with 
  2. wooden pegs for a hat wall
  3. knee-length dresses
  4. set of nice glasses 
  5. summer sandals 
  6. seafood platter
  7. snare drum + cymbals 
  8. get rid of clothes (maybe if people wanna do a clothes swap or something that'd be cool)
  9. liquorice 
  10. trip to christchurch 
  11. lots of photocopying for zines 
  12. make a lil pokemon machinima movie
  13. wine (pinot gris/noir (love them pinot grapes))
  14. play ps3 games (not a present but a thing that will bloody well happen i tell you no doubts about it)

Monday, August 13, 2012

nzff recap

I didn't see nearly as many films as I wanted to, but that's okay because I have other things to do like study and figure out what to do next year and also movies are expensive. These are the ones I really wanted to see but didn't (but will soon):

  1. Sound of my Voice
  2. Holy Motors
  3. Moonrise Kingdom
  4. From up on Poppy Hill
  5. Lore
  6. Bernie
  7. Two Years at Sea
  8. The Artists Cinema
  9. Compilation of NZ shorts
  10. Platige Image shorts

How to Meet Girls from a Distance

(the audience went nuts over this nz, wellington-set film directed by Dean Hewison (was made in like six-months or something really short like that)).

Dreams of a Life

I got to go to Dreams of a Life with my friend, Brydie and her mum and her mum's partner. I saw it at the Te Papa theatre, which I never knew existed. Afterwards we went and had cocktails at the Black Sparrow where the menus are refurbished old leather-bound books and the drinks are named after movies. I got a Big Lebowski.

The picture I have included sums up the premise of the film. The director, Carol Morley attempts to unpack the mystery in 'Errol Morris' documentary fashion where Joyce's friends are interviewed and a picture is painted about who this 'Joyce' really was and maybe 'how' she died. Because she had fully decomposed there was no evidence/body to carry out a coroners report but it was assumed to have been from natural causes, hinted at through the film as maybe an asthma attack. The descriptions Joyce's 'friends' gave of her was that she was vibrant, outgoing, stunningly beautiful, an object of lust and attraction, flirtatious, intelligent, well spoken. No one could understand why someone like Joyce (or at least the Joyce they knew (or thought they knew)) would have been left to die all alone in her apartment and not been contacted in that amount of time. However, what the film garnered was that she was inherently lonely, mysterious, depressed, and emotionally stunted. The film, while masquerading as a documentary had more feature-film qualities, the footage that was not interviews, was recreated and so an imagined interpretation of Joyce, her life etc. The danger of documentary is the representation of facts, which have (inevitably) been sprinkled with artistic license and so the question should always be posed 'is this actually 'real'? (A: No). What I enjoyed the most, and what I think other people in the audience liked a lot as well, was the slow and gradual revelation of the characters of the interviewees; their own lives, how they intersected with Joyce, the impact she had on them and vice-versa, their relationships with each other, their desires and so on. I think I would be fairly accurate in saying that 'Martin' (Joyce's (first?) boyfriend) was a crowd favourite, as was the lady in red who had some pretty funny mannerisms, Alister the music producer and the guy that went clubbing a lot in the 80s.


I saw V/H/S at 4pm in the afternoon, which may not be the most ideal time for horror buffs to have seen it. Thankfully I am not one of those, and so coming out of this film and being (mostly) certain that was I saw was not 'irl' was a comforting relief. V/H/S is a compilation of found-footage (think The Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield) horror shorts that have been cleverly incorporated into the films reality. I like episodic things so I particularly enjoyed the form of the film. Each segment was made by a different director: Ti West, Joe Swanberg, Radio Silence, David Bruckner, Adam Wingard, and Glenn McQuaid. The different shorts were all pretty weird, hideous, vulgar, sick, slimy, bloody and frightening, working within the bounds of the genre. Being 'found-footage' certainly added to the immediacy/intimacy and also I think gave me a little bit of motion sickness. V/H/S is R18 so if you get a chance to see it at the cinema, don't forget your id (I got asked twice (once at the ticket booth and then upon entering the theatre)), and be prepared to be scared and grossed out. My two favourites were the 'skype' and 'haunted house' segments.

Thursday, August 9, 2012


Ben Wheatley directed this film, I haven't seen any of his other two film but I would really like to. In saying that the best thing for me was the script and story which was written by the two actors (Alice Lowe and Steve Oram), their deadpan delivery and the gory, early Peter Jackson-like (think Braindead and Bad Taste) killing scenes. Sightseers is a humourous tale of casual romantic murdering, as the Chris and Tina (played by Alice and Steve) traverse the lush English countryside in a caravan. At the beginning the film shows an oppressive relationship between Tina and her mother, akin to that in the play, The Beauty Queen of Leenane. She is whisked away by ginger-bearded Chris, to her mother's dismay and along the way as well as killing innocent people as if they were getting a coffee and a biscuit at a tea-room, they partake in numerous cheesy tourist activities. I didn't like the cinematography so much. There were a couple of obscure angles which seemed like they would have had their home back in Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz, but weren't frequent enough here to be a deliberate aesthetic. It's okay though, 'cause the acting was great, the script was great, it was funny, and frustrating and the costuming was satisfyingly horrific (think acid-wash jeggings). I liked this heaps.

(Another thing: Sightseers was preceded by a short film called 'Bear', made by Nash Edgerton, which was just as funny/frightening/unfortunate).

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Your Sister's Sister

Can't believe how many mums and grannies were in this audience and how much they all slobbered over Mark Duplass afterwards. YSS was a really lovely character-driven film with some good acting by Mark Duplass and Rosemary DeWitt, in particular. The script overcooked Duplass' brother's death at the start a bit, I think - it was merely a narrative device to get all the characters together and wasn't mentioned in the second half of the film. This was the film's biggest failure, and yet the naturalistic dialogue was achieved so effortlessly by both screenwriter and actor that it dispelled this hole and even compensated for it by promoting an idea of something like 'realistic recuperation' where the thing you are mourning whether a relationship or a person who has passed away kind of just fades slowly away from your memory. If that was the point then it was well-achieved. Synonyms presumably associated with this film are probably: delightful, charming, hot ass Duplass, cool bike.

Marina Abramovic: The Artist is Present

This has got to be one of my favourite films so far from the festival. This documentary followed Marina Abramovic as she prepared for an exhibition curating all of her previous performance pieces and introduced a new one where she sat for three months during gallery hours, facing anyone who sat opposite her. It was a massive hit, there were queues of people waiting overnight to be first into the art gallery to get a chance to participate in the piece. The film contained some archival footage of previous performance pieces such as 'The Lovers', the one where she cuts a pentagram on her abdomen, the one where the naked man and woman stand close to each other and people have to squeeze through them, the one where the audience uses various objects on her naked body, the one where her partner and her fast and sit opposite each other for ages. There was a general consensus from people interviewed, whether they were fans of her work or art exhibitionists, that she is a (if not 'the') most significant and influential performance artist. I really enjoyed seeing her communicating with the camera and cooking and talking about her life/ childhood etc. She has this enviable self-awareness and optimism for life, where she accepts that everything is unpredictable and yet she is un-phased by surprises. It was a long film, however suspenseful, funny and moving all at the same time.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Any attempt to articulate this film is 1) a wasted attempt and 2) already been done by people who are better-read in film and movies and reviews, or whatever than me, but I have this goal to write a little about the films I see at this years film festival so I'll just give it a go. It has been touted as the pick of the festival, and I wasn't expecting anything so visually and viscerally captivating. There are some similarities between first time director Benh Zeitlin's film and other movies such as Malick's Tree of Life, that I saw last year and maybe even Whale Rider. I preferred Beasts to both of those by far. I am generally a fan of magical realism and that's what I loved about this film, that a unique world was fashioned out events similar to 'real-life'. Plus the metaphorical and subsequently literal 'beasts' were really great. I think the thing I liked the most about this film was the cinematography. Most of the time it was hand-held which gave the film more of a documentary-like quality, but also distanced from Hushpuppy, hardly ever her point of view. Most if not all of the cast are unknown, but excellent performers and despite the destruction of their homes/eating of cute animals they bring a sense of optimism that is just quite inspiring.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Cabin in the Woods

Even if you don’t see Cabin in the Woods, it will come out soon enough and there is nothing I would recommend more than to firstly watch it, and secondly, preferably with some snacks and some friends. I don’t usually watch horror films, they’re maybe my last choice at the video store, but even I, in my ignorance ‘got’ it, albeit not all the references but at least I understood that they were references, which is mainly the point. Joss Whedon (script) and Drew Goddard (direction) (technically they both co-wrote it) have been heralded as ‘geniuses’ before, and according to other reviews of CITW, seems like they still hold that title. If anyone is interested, Anna Hutchison is in it, famed for her somewhat perverted relationship years and years ago with infamous serial killer ‘Shane Cortez’ in New Zealand’s ‘magnum opus’, Shortland Street. Seems like anything more I say in regards to what I liked about it the most will be a massive spoiler and what I loved was how everything was so unforseen and yet so classically formulaic, but it is madly imaginative and definitely one of the highlights so far, for me.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Five Young Men

All the young men gathered around the table, there were women in the other groups but by some twist of fate there were only men in this one. Five of them. They stared at her grey toes and ashy cheeks and their hearts pined for her once-rosy face and the falling of her loose-fitting dress on the curves of her dancing body. Their supervisor came in and picking up their scalpels the men commenced. They hacked away at her guts, just pulled them all out bit by bit, looked at them and put them back in again. They went home to their respective flats, homes, girlfriends, parents, dogs, cats, children and laughed and talked, (though a couple of them argued), long into the night.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

nziff 2012

here is a non-exhaustive list of films i want to see when the new zealand internation film festival comes to town:

  1. moonrise kingdom
  2. beasts of the southern wild
  3. cabin in the woods
  4. marina abramovic: the artist is present 
  5. bernie 
  6. from up on poppy hill
  7. beyond the hills 
  8. this must be the place
  9. back to stay 
  10. nana
  11. your sister's sister
  12. sister
  13. sound of my voice
  14. two years at sea
  15. far out far east 
  16. klown
  17. sightseers
  18. holy motors

Sunday, July 15, 2012


I have two poems in UP Literature today. UP is edited by Carolyn DeCarlo and Ras Rashmarani. One is about flowers and one is about pedigree pooches.

Click on my Arcanine for a link to my poems.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012


I followed an old man whose nose was so big it flopped over his mouth and when he spoke he had to hold it to one side else he would swallow it.

wellington zinefest 2012

I'm on the Wellington Zinefest committee this year. Seems cool and highly organised and a lot bigger than the Christchurch one. Pretty pumped to check out the stuff at the stalls. I'll be collating a new writing zine probably. And a comic one maybe. Had this idea for one with just screenshots of movies/the computer but not sure if it will print out/photocopy clearly. Had another idea for a John Cassavetes zine which would be cool maybe. And one of just lists. We'll see.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

tasty soup

Hamish's friend Ruby made an inspiring brocolli and violet-petal soup when I stayed last week so I decided to make my own version for Hamish when he came to stay last night. Mine was potato, leek, brocolli and blue cheese. Also butter. And cream. This is a good soup for those who like vegetables but don't care about getting fat. I bought 100g of blue cheese and put half of it in. It was the perfect amount - subtle, but enough that the only extra seasoning needed was salt and pepper. I made a big pot of it by softening onion and the leek in a hunk of butter and then boiling the potatoes and adding the brocolli in last. When the veges finished cooking I mixed in the cheese, let it cool then whizzed it up in the blender. It was a really nice thick consistency, but not too globby, also not too runny. When I heated it up again on the stove I stirred in a bit of cream. The pot I made served me and Hamish two servings each, I had one for dinner tonight and I have one more helping left. The whole experience was a bloody dream, and even better with the grilled flat-bread which I covered in oil and occasionally sprinkled with herbs and spices.

Sunday, July 1, 2012


Thanks to Willis Plummer for telling me about it, Buttercup McGillicuddy published my poem 'around the world' in the first issue of Habitat.

Saturday, June 23, 2012